Heartache + Headache

Sometimes,I find it hard for some people to really understand and feel for me.Sometimes,when all that I need is just some supportive gesture such as a simple hug or maybe a listening ear or at least a consoling words,people tend to bombard me with some suggestion that can make me feel so....unloved!Or even worse,people tend to accuse me of not doing it correctly when all I have done is trying to tell him my story.I know it sounds trivial and might even sounds stupid...but I do need to feel loved,supported and at least someone to aggree with me.I know i deserve it coz I have tried my best not to be an irritating soul,even if people have done something wrong to me.It's difficult to understand though,to as why is this "foe-riend' of mine is doing this to me.She in the first place was the source of this irritating and uncomfortable event.Entahlah.......
12:58 am Dec 13
I dozed off earlier whilst trying to make the 3 budak kecik go to sleep.But I was awaken by a really bad dream.A dream of infidelity!Isn't that bad enough?To make it worse,this isn't the first time.What made me felt thorned was,the 2 main characters are truly dear to my heart.I thought I dozed off with a clear mind.Well..at least I didn't even think of such a thing.I have other issues which is more realistic.I have had this dream before,just different settings.But the main story and characters were the same.I pray to Allah,that these dreams that I have previously and tonight were just nightmares!Pls Allah don't let it happen.I will lose my mind,my faith,my family and I might even succumbed to insanity or even worse,I might even lose my life.What's the point of continuing life if THAT ever happens?But,as much as I am not that good,I am not that bad either to be punished with such things no?At least I know that I have tried my best to give everyone that is dear to me,the best of me.So,rationally....it should not happen and pray....it would not happen!I have every right to be scared,worried and whatnot...knowing that I am the person who always a deja vu in my life.It's a bit strage,sometimes I can dream of thing once or repeatedly,and finally it's there.So far only all the Good Deja vus have happened.So Demi Allah yang menguasai langit dan bumi,lindungilah kami dari kemungkaran.